Miracles

By the end of the day yesterday, I was beyond exhausted.  My brain was no longer functioning so I didn't get the chance to get this blogged until now.  I actually got 8 hours of sleep last night so I am feeling much better today.  :)

So yesterday, Christmas Day, we traveled four hours north to Ellie's city of Datong.  Let me just tell you folks, I miss car seats!  A large part of my exhaustion yesterday was from spending 8 hours in the car trying to contain a very active 20 month old who did not want to sit still.  Since they don't use seat belts or car seats in China, my arms were about like noodles after trying to hold her still enough not to fall over or get hurt and then carrying her around when we weren't in the car.  When we get out of our hotel room Ellie gets a lot more clingy with me and more unsure of Daddy which means I have a permanent 27 pound attachment.  I am going to have some serious arm muscles by the time we get home!  ;)

The beautiful mountains of Ellie's province

I did get a little break while she napped.  :)

Besides the car ride, the tour around the orphanage went pretty well.  It really was an impressive place outside of still being an orphanage.  There is certainly a lot of variety in what you will find in orphanages but I think that this is one of the top ones.  (Though my heart is still broken in so many ways thinking of the children 'left behind'.  Especially the older ones who have less of a chance of being adopted.)

We found out that Ellie was with her first foster family until she was 18 mths old.  At that point, kids come back to the institute to begin 'kindergarten' or preschool.  They go to school during the day and then return to foster families that live in apartments on the same campus of the school during the night.  We got to meet Ellie's most recent foster mom and a couple of her foster siblings.  Her foster mom was super sweet and I seriously wanted to bring her foster brother that we met home with us.  He was so amazingly sweet!  We were able to pass out candy to the kiddos we met and he gave his chocolate kiss to Ellie and then was feeding some of his smarties to a friend.  So sweet!

The school building

The apartment building that Ellie lived in the past two months.

Ellie with her foster momma

Marcus passing out candy to some sweet kiddos from Ellie's class

Ellie with her sweet foster brother Yo Yo

The school was pretty remarkable.  They had many different classrooms with small class sizes.  They all had a variety of therapy rooms including music therapy and sand therapy.  The teachers seemed super sweet and to really care about the kids.  The building was clean and well kept as were the children.  It would be easy to overlook that fact if you didn't know that that is not the norm for many places.  There are about 60 kids that live on the campus and go to school there during the day but another 600 or so that live in foster families in the surrounding area.

Ellie's classroom

A music room

Roof top playground.  A couple of the pictures we got of Ellie
before we came were taken here.

At one point, when were in the classroom with Ellie's foster brother Yo Yo, she wanted down.  (She hadn't wanted down up to this point)  She interacted with him a little and wanted to color at the table. It was the first time I had seen her comfortable away from me in public.  When it was time to go, I held out my arms to her and she gave me a little grin and scooted away.  Everyone laughed but my heart dropped a little wondering if she would want to stay where it was familiar instead of going with us who were still strangers in so many ways.  I gave her a minute and then pointed at the door and said "Time to go bye-bye" and held out my arms to her again and she immediately lit up with a smile and came running over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck as I picked her up.  I think that is the best Christmas present I could have received this year.  My daughter chose to happily come with me into the unknown instead of staying in the familiar.  I have to imagine that God feels much the same way with us- When we chose to trust His love for us even when we don't fully understand it or know the depths of it.  His heart must soar when we are willing to leave the comfort of the familiar behind in order to move into the greatness of the life He has for us.

Ellie is so brave.  I just can't imagine being thrown into a new life, with new people, and new rules and new expectations.  She is doing so well though.  We can tell that she has been well loved and for that we are thankful.  She is super smart and curious and boy is she busy.  Sure it would be easier for me if she was more docile and hesitant like many children from orphanages can be at first.  But I am so thankful to be worn out at the end of the day from trying to keep up with her.  She is every bit a healthy 20 month old.  She knows how to play and how to tease and how to explore and how to communicate her needs and how to receive comfort.  And though she is still trying to figure out the new rules with us, she is strong enough to push at the boundaries a little bit to test where the lines are.  She just isn't an 'institutionalized' baby.  I wish we could have met her first foster mother and thanked her for taking such good care of her.

Once again, I can't help but wonder about her birth mother, as well.  I am so sad for her that she is missing out on the joy of Ellie.  I am sad that she doesn't get to know the little crinkle face grin that we see so often or get to hear her deep little giggle that fills our hearts right up.  I am once again beyond thankful that she chose life for her.  And I am beyond thankful that God chose us to cherish Ellie the way she should be cherished.  Though yesterday was an exhausting day, I will look back on Christmas Day this year with a heart full of gratitude.  Gratitude that even though Ellie was well loved and cared for where she was, now she has a forever family.  She is not going to 'age out' of that good care and find herself alone in the world.  She has a family.  She has a place to belong.  She has a mommy and daddy that will love her no matter what and will teach her that she has a Father in heaven that loves her beyond her wildest imagination.  Though she will likely have many questions as she get older, hard questions that most won't be able to be answered this side of heaven, we will always be able to reassure her that our God is the God who sees us.  He saw her and loved her and made sure that she would know love her whole life.

If you wonder if miracles still happen, I am learning that they do.  For God to see the life of a little orphan girl in China that needed the love of a family, and to see a family on the other side of the world that needed the love of a little girl in China and then to bring us together at just the right time... Well that, that my friends, is a Christmas miracle at its finest.  :)