He will quiet you with His love

I think one of the hardest parts of this wait is knowing that my little girl is half way around the world and I have no idea how she is doing.  Is she sick? Is she being held?  Does someone love her and is teaching her how to be loved?  Is she lonely? Is she hurt? Is she hungry?  There are so many hard stories that come out of the conditions of orphanages in China and the experiences of the children living there.

To be fair, there are a lot of amazing orphanages, as well, with nannies that love on the babies and care for them well.  But that is not where fear takes us, is it?  In those moments that I give fear too much room in my heart, I wonder, what if she is not in one of those good orphanages?  What if she is lying all day in a crib made of wooden boards as I have heard of?  What if the only interaction she has with people in a whole day is the quick feedings and changings and is left to herself the rest of the time?  What if she has already learned not to cry out for her needs because she knows that no one will come?  Even with the best of intentions, how can a few nannies who are given charge of so many little ones give the love and care that a baby should have?  They can't snuggle her and give her extra love when she doesn't feel good because there are so many other babies to take care of as well.

These are the places I go to when fear gets a hold of me.  All of those things very well might be 'true' for my daughter right now- but they are not Truth.  The truth is, she is a daughter of a God who cares deeply for her.  The truth is, she has a family that she doesn't even know about yet that loves her and is praying for her before they have even met her.  The truth is, that even before her mommy can be there to hold her, she has a Father that has never let her go.

As I have struggled through some of these fears lately, God has reminded me of these truths.  He has reassured me with Zephaniah 3:17 reminding me that this is His heart for His child in China, "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

So before I can be with her, God is with her and He is making a way to 'save' her and give her a family.  Though I fear she is lonely and unloved, God reminds me that He takes great delight in her.  Though I fear she might be afraid with no one to calm her, God reminds me that he will quiet her with His love.  And though I long to hold her at night and sing to her as she falls asleep, God reminds me that until I can, He will be rejoicing over her with His singing.

So, in light of all that Truth, I am trying to steer my heart towards new questions and thoughts in prayer.  Lord, what are YOU delighting about in her today? Lord, when her heart is crying out today, will YOU draw near and quiet her with your love?  What songs are YOU singing over her?  Will you sing her a song about the family that loves her and that is coming for her?

Oh, and Lord... when my heart begins to fear again, and despair in the worst, will you quiet me with your love, as well?