Never Once

Saturday night is our usual night to go to church. We have missed it so much the past several weeks and with as well as Ellie has been doing, we couldn't resist at least giving it a go and seeing how she would do. We had no intentions of putting her in the kids class yet but I was hoping to at least get to enjoy worship time before she got too antsy and then we could go out to the foyer and she could run around a bit.

Worship is almost always my favorite time of the service.  I love the way my heart connects with God during those times.  Last night might have been one of my all time favorites.  :)  I am pretty sure God had the set of songs planned just for my heart.  They were all so perfect for what I was feeling being home with Ellie but one in particular stood out.  Matt Redman's song, "Never Once", was a really powerful song of encouragement during our wait time of the adoption.  In all the times that it felt like it might never happen or I just didn't understand God's timing of it all, that song would speak refreshment and encouragement to my heart in so many ways.  This was, of course, one of the songs we sang last night.

I can't tell you how powerfully I felt that song last night as I stood there with Eleanor in my arms. I felt so filled up with gratitude and faith and thankfulness.  We may have had scars and struggles on the way but with joy my heart can say that never once in our long journey to Ellie did God leave us on our own.  Evermore, I will be breathing out God's praise.  I sang this song out to God with all my heart. I watched as this little girl who my heart has longed after for years, raised her hand just as her momma was doing in praise to God and then as she clapped and danced to the song in my arms.  My eyes filled with tears as my heart overflowed with emotion.  It was one of the most special moments of my life.  I felt like it all had finally come full circle and God was smiling over us.

God is faithful, my friends.  Sometimes (most often) the journey looks so very different than we imagine but we can trust our God.  We can trust His plan for us.  We can trust His goodness for us.  In this life we only see a dim reflection of reality and truth.  There are times, though, that I think God pulls back the curtain a bit and lets us see a little clearer.  There are moments that we get a glimpse of the grander landscape of our lives.  We get to see how things have led up to a single moment- how the painful pieces all fit together to create something altogether lovely.  I felt that I experienced one of those holy moments last night and I am still carrying the glow of it with me today.